Today’s inspiration comes from my childhood, a song my dad loved to sing loud, proud, and completely out of tune. My dad loved working, but I have reason to believe that this anthem was equal parts tongue-in-cheek and the truth.
I’ve had an especially trying time at the day job recently. Like many trapped in the tangled web of corporate drama, I’ve been caught up in endless emails, a double-and triple-booked calendar, and the expectation of being available at a moment’s notice regardless of whether I actually am available. I fantasize about replying “I QUIT” to the unorganized requests, vague instructions, and unreasonable demands. Then I look at my diminishing bank account and assess all the bills that need to be paid and reply with a chipper, “Will do!” all the while hating myself for the fake smile and “no worries” accommodations. With angry indignation, I think to myself, “I’m too smart for this. I’m too talented. I’m wasting my time, my energy, my effort, my genius, being someone else’s minion.”
But then it occurs to me that I chose this, and I chose it knowing better. I have an innate ability to assess a situation and feel if it’s right for me or not. Since I was a child, I’ve been able to KNOW the energy of people, places, and objects without explaining HOW I know these things. In an effort to appear as what other people would consider normal, I’ve learned to deny this gift, squelch it, ignore it, or dismiss it altogether. The fact remains that I’m increasingly unable to hide, exert control, or disown the intuitive skills that I’ve been given. I sure do try at the expense of my physical and mental health, and a corporate career is yet one more attempt at keeping up the illusion of professionalism. If I’ve gained any clarity over the past few years it’s this: I don’t have much time left in the world of man-made work rules. For me, it’s all breaking down because I don’t belong there anyway. It’s time to welcome in something better. It’s authentic, and real, and true – something uniquely made by me, for me, and for anyone who ever felt they needed to hide who they are.
I’ve seen a lot of good folk die
That had a lot of bills to pay
I’d give the shirt right offa my back
If I had the guts to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain’t workin’ here no more
What gifts are you hiding for the sake of paying your bills, or being normal, or staying in a relationship that doesn’t bring out the best in you or your partner? What are you tolerating? I see you. I know you. Reach out if you want to talk. And if you don’t, be at peace knowing there many unique, beautiful souls out there just like you.
Let that light shine, Friend.
-Diane
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