My pampered cat has every reason to feel alright. Always.
Happy New Year, Shiny Happy People! You’re feelin’ alright? I sure hope so. But if you’re not, I feel ya. Know that I’ve been there, and I have moments when I’m not feelin’ too good myself. The holiday season was wonderful to me this year, and I am so grateful for the memories made with family and friends. I’m also really proud of myself for not pushing through when I needed to rest and asking for help with the various things that needed to be done throughout the season’s activities. Whatever you did, whether it be running from one thing to another, or declaring a quiet holiday, or processing grief, anger, or even loneliness I hope you got at least one thing you needed. And if you didn’t, I’m so very sorry. It’s a new day, a new month, and a new year. Let’s see if we can get things back in perspective for you.
Re-entry into daily life after the holiday season can be a shock to the system. No matter how much time we’re given to party, rest, sulk (sometimes!), overwork, overeat, and overindulge, the holidays come to an end. Putting away the tree always made me sad for the longest time. I’d feel silly and sappy crying while I listened to Christmas music one last time while reliving the memories of Christmas past. Now, I look at it differently. I still feel a little blue while putting away the Christmas decorations, but while I’m doing so, I know I’m making space for the new year and therefore, new experiences, to come into my life. If you’re struggling with easing into this new calendar year, this new month, and facing the first full work week, I hope I can give you some inspiration to relieve some of the pressure.
I recently discovered FUN Goals. Apparently, they’ve been a thing since last year. It figures that I’m late to the party. Anyhow, I was corporately trained to create S.M.A.R.T goals every year, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. However, for me and where I’m at now, I need to heal from the burnout and exhaustion my SMART goals created in the first place. Self-improvement shouldn’t involve self-punishment, and setting goals should come from the mindset that there isn’t anything wrong with you. Wouldn’t it totally transform your approach to the typical “New Year’s Resolutions” to look at making changes in from a place of self-care, self-acceptance, and self-love?
With that in mind, here’s my approach this year to FUN Goals:
- F = Flexible. Things change. People who can “see” into the future can’t even predict with 100% accuracy what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, or even the next hour. The more important thing is to build a structure around your decision-making toward a certain outcome. If you can keep it simple, repeatable, and rewarding, the more likely you’ll experience success. For example, let’s use weight loss as a goal since that’s what a lot of people focus on in January. Instead of saying, “I want to lose weight, so I’m going to the gym every day,” try instead, “I desire to be active and have planned enjoyable physical activities. I’ve blocked off the time on my calendar and commit to showing up for myself.” You don’t know what’s going to come up every day. You might get sick or injured, or something might happen which throws off your schedule. How are you going to handle the interruption in your routine? What are you going to do to get back on track? Which brings me to the next step –
- U = Uplifting. How does what you want make you feel? Going back to the example of losing weight, how do you want to feel in your body? Try to make it less about “looking hot” and more about feeling confident, being in less pain, having energy, whatever it is that YOU want to feel. Along with that, think about how the activity itself makes you feel. Do you feel expressive when you dance? Do you feel creative when you practice yoga? Do you feel exhilarated when you run? Do you feel accomplished when you lift weights? Do you feel spiritually connected to nature while on a hike? Focusing on what you can do to create your feelings can make it easier to think about the action steps you need to bring about the outcome you want. And finally,
- N = Numberless. I’ve made a career out of living by the numbers, so don’t get me wrong. I love numbers. Numbers don’t lie. Numbers are exact. There’s nothing more satisfying to me than accurately solving a math problem. There’s one correct answer, and one answer only. However, in this new world of ambiguity I’m navigating, I’m finding I need a better way to calibrate my compass. The unknown is one of my greatest fears, and having overly rigid goals is no longer serving me well. Even so, this idea of having a goal without a number attached will be a big challenge for me. Back to the weight loss example, say you want to lose 20 pounds. How about instead focusing on the enjoyable physical activities you planned in your uplifting goals while adding in a practice to have dessert only on special occasions? There’s more of a mindset toward healthy habits rather than being hung up on a number on the scale, which can fluctuate daily. With that said, just maybe, freedom from the numbers can mean freedom from feelings of failure – which also equates into feelings of success which can lead to more healthy habits. I hope you give it a try!
Whatever you decide to do, or not to do, this year, I wish you every success and a brilliant 2024. And if you want to check in to tell me how you’re doing, I’d love to hear from you!
Shine on, Friends,
Diane
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